I Think I May..I Think I Might..Surrender.

Lewd:suggestive of or tending to moral looseness.

For some reason, I love this definition. Tonight--it was awesome. I was introduced to this word that has the potential to make each of my future conversations better, lewd..er. I was told by my RA that he had the "authority" to write me up for making lewd comments. (Not saying that I had made one). I'm glad that he has this "false sensation of power." (Avery) It may not be false, but it most definitely is hysterical. I think he meant to warn me--considering the fact that he has finally caught on to the fact that my censor is quite opaque. Instead, he encouraged me. It is my goal to lewd it up in his presence. If I get dismissed--it will be for a good cause. Lewdness.

On a good day, a normal day, tending to moral looseness is my forte. Let me tell ya. I am the loosest of the loose. I actually have a sash that says "Queen of Lewd" in sparkly letters. It's really weird that somebody else wants to crown me for something I have been previously applauded for. I will not take the credit, the credit goes to my friend, Lewd.

I will not lead you astray...making people feel uncomfortable is very entertaining. Especially when they run after you for a comment that made them feel uncomfortable. I must've forgotten that hand and holding cannot be found together in the same sentence. Luckily my leg length is triple his--my stride quadruple--catch me if you can little man.

Overall, I can't really comprehend what happened. I'm thinking that looking into purchasing a new word censor is in my best interest. I'm just not sure if it's for me, though. I love that I have the ability to talk comfortably about "moral looseness." I mean, since I am lewd and all--I'd hope to have that talent.

I've discovered some pretty great things about myself today:
1) I am ornery all the time--according to a roommate that will remain nameless. Oh really? Maybe I'm just the only one that says what's bothering me to your face instead of behind your back. Weird.
2) I lack intelligence...according to my history teacher that gave me a C- on my paper. Probably because he didn't understand the large vocabulary it contained.
3) I am annoying. I have definitely never heard that one before...
4) I have boy emotions. I'll take that as a compliment, thank you.
5) I am potentially morally loose. That's really cool.
6) My middle name is Lewd. Oh.

Definitely a day for the books. And thanks for reading...Alexa's pessimistic blog. I hope I made your day.

Ociredef Kcirtap Leinad

Well, I told myself I would only be blogging once a week...max. Unfortunately, I am going to have to break this pinky promise to myself--just this once. Um for this blog to make a little bit more sense, you will need to quickly review a couple of daxflame's online video diary entries. Thanks.

Daniel Patrick Federico. I met him once. In a dream----and then something weird happened. I went to college. Met this girl named Tavery Swagle. This is the bowl of ice cream...she just happened to have a boyfriend. They're supposedly in 'love'? Don't ask me what that means. Must be a Bostonian thing. Now to add the cherry... DO WE WANT TO DO THAT? His name is Daniel Patrick Federico. PISSED. Potential relationship thief right thuurrr.

Anyway, I am hoping that this blog will remain private for my own sanity. I have some unpronounced feelings to spill....and some lessons to teach about this here..Daniel.


Nicknames: "Freddy" or, according to facebook, "Big guy." I'm not sure if this is supposed to imply that he is morbidly obese or purely legit. From the looks of it, or him...I'm thinking he's legit. Or maybe he just likes the Eiffel Tower.


Rumor has it that he may have a twin. One day, he was seen with the fellow pictured above. Nobody quite knows the truth......


So, he's a big shot hockey player. SO WHAT?! Who cares that he plays for a team called 'Official Website?" OR that he may be famous one day. At least I can claim that I've dreamt about him before...


There's this girl that I have mentioned above. Avery... I hear they are on pretty alright terms. Looks to me like they bring the worst out in each other. DEvils.


He has amazing taste in glasses. Although my wire rimmies kill his*


You know how you hear about those studs that enjoy long walks on beaches? Oh yeah...he's one of them. One requirement...they have to be with Avery. Having her next to him must give him this 'false sensation of power.' Oh, my name is Dan I am a manly man that walks in the sand while the sun sets. Whheeet whheet Whhhheeeeet.


Tandem biking is actually one of his more prominent skills. Enough said.


That tattoo on the blondie's arm is real AND his muscles truly are as big as they seem...


Lastly, I hear is quite the thug on the dance floor. When he gets hot, he strips. Settle down ladies. I hear is offering free 'dougie' lessons. Jump on that.

Overall, 'Big Guy' seems pretty awes. Too much to offer. Now I know why Avery is in the habit of biting her lower lip. (yes, she has three lips--lower, indicating middle).

I feel like this blog may have a part two...in March or something.

Positivity Decline

I'm sitting in bed, hating. Not anyone or anything in particular. I'm simply hating. There are so many situations in my life that I'm not okay with. Unfortunately, I have no control over them. I can wish for change....or even be an active advocate for it--but nothing's changing. There are trials that you can see the end of--usually you can spot the bright light at the end of the tunnel. Not this time, this time it's different. Anger has been added to the long list of unwanted emotions. Last time it was simply sadness that ate at me on a daily basis, this time it's a mixture. I can't decide if I just want to lie on the ground and cry, or plot a hideous murder. Neither of these things would help to me to accomplish anything--fix anything. Do I even want anything fixed? At this point, I really couldn't tell you. He will forever come and go......he's the leaving kind. I'm not sure if I have the emotional strength or the desire to fix it.

Debbie Downer's the name, don't wear it out. Most days I do okay, I forget that I have nowhere to go--that I don't belong anywhere. Sometimes my fake smile even feels real. Those are the best days. Other days, I don't care enough to try. My bed and my itunes library have recently become my new best friend. Just last night I was told "You'd be perfect if you were ALWAYS positive." Really? My bad. Please, if you can do better--Be My Guest. I keep getting told to rely on others....I should let them help me. How though? My ability to trust has recently vanished. Nobody understands. No words get the point across. My story sounds fake. Those that do take the time to listen don't care. They have a home to go to--they don't have to be invited. "That sucks..freaking glad that's not my life." Well, it's mine. Usually I can find the good in it, today I can't. Tomorrow I can only hope. Surreal. Sometimes I feel like I'm dreaming. Sometimes I wish I was.

Huh

College. So much different than I ever expected. Lonely, yet entertaining. Tiring, but energy-filled. I find myself so busy..yet bored at the same time. It's more like I'm away at boarding school....counting down the days until I get to home. Don't worry, I'm soaking in the college experience. Living, laughing, loving. All of that good stuff.

My roommates--much better than anticipated. We're all so different---we scream and laugh all in one motion.

Avery--better known as Tavery Swagle--classic. Usually she makes me laugh and cry at the same time. We both appreciate Victoria's Secret. She shimmies a lot, and seems to love to bite her bottom lip. Sexual? I think so.


Samie--the silent dinosaur. She's pretty good at giving presentations on Gangs--probably because she's in one. I'll make her admit it one day. I like her boots, and her hats--wish I could pull them off.


Natalie--She's tall and gorgeous. Her hair has been approximately fifty six different colors since we've been here. She's organized and enjoys fresh aromas. We like to touch finger tips. She truly is as creepy as she sounds.


Beka--I think I annoy her three fourths of every day. She has a one-of-a-kind stance. It actually looks uncomfortable. She works out a lot and has a nice butt? Go Becky. And her laugh...don't even get me started...


Shannon--My immediate roommate. One word-Belgium. That's where she's from and I just use her for her chocolate. Not. I love her. She's chill. We laugh. We fart.


Feliena--Never in all my life have I met anyone like her. She speaks vernalese and loves Top Ramen. One day we will get her completely wasted and she will forever be our top source of entertainment.


So Yeon--She's Korean. Don't see much of her. BUT I love her cute, high-pitched voice. Yeah......

Overall, college seems to be a seven on the legit scale. I miss home a lot most days. USU is becoming my home away from home....it helps me forget that I don't really belong anywhere.

I've recently had an addiction to parkour. If you are wondering, I rock at it. I am going to make a movie and can sense fame coming from it...We'll see. This is currently my best move.

I Did It For Me.

This one's for you.

There have been so many days when I seriously wonder why I was picked to be here, right now. Why I am so blessed to know the people I do, and to experience the pain that I have. Shi is hard. But I get dirt kicked in my face so that I can wipe it off, and kick it back. The world convinces me to give in to discouragement. To let one comment or one situation convince me that I'm not worth it.
Although life has taken me down roads I never wanted to explore, I hope I have the opportunity to kick myself in the face ten more times. I would never trade my situation for a better one--for a more perfect family, more friends, spinach that isn't rotten, or eyes that have never cried. I love crying----and rotten spinach has the potential to make any day great.

I hope you never give up--and never give in. Don't let him win, don't let your frown force him to laugh in your face. Cause he is--and he will never stop. He hates you. And you hate him. Have faith, don't question. Like I said, there is no time. Life is short, and trials are priceless. You are not alone. It's hard to believe, but it's true.

The moral of the story:
Cheer up Charlie. Life sucks---most of the time. Take advantage of the days that don't. Or make that days that suck the best days. Cause they are. Emotions rock. Let them shine. The tears rolling down your cheeks---meet them with a smile. I don't blame you, I respect your sadness. Fight it. Conquer it. or love it..and wait for it to pass. Whichever you choose. Just don't take the easy way out. Challenge yourself. Force yourself to learn something. Life is Love. Really.

Title--less

Blogging. What I did with my free time before I became a facebook addict. With all the free time I have these days--all I can do is sit around and think about how I dread college excitement. Do I really have to go and start my life all over again? Pretend I am sane long enough to hook a friend by the cheek and reel them on in....sounds awfully painful. I think I'd rather just skip out on college---look into finding a job at the local Pizza Hut. I could start collecting something cool....like pet rocks...or pet cats. Yeah, that would be the life. I find crazy cat ladies intriguing...especially when they save the last bite of Frisky's gourmet for themselves.

Don't ask me why I am blogging right now--as if somebody out there in the world actually reads what I write. "I wonder what Alexa has to say after a year of blogging shun?" Yeah I know, I'm THAT entertaining.

Fill in on my life

-I live with my sister, and I'm loving it.
--I'm happy with where I'm at in life--loving that too.
---My summer job has been nannying my favorite boys and little girl in all the land. I will take them as my own one day.
----As each day passes, I like the color green more and more.
-----College starts in three weeks, I should probably be a little bit more excited. I'm planning to get my composite degree in Elementary Ed. and Special Ed.
------I freak somebody new out each day. It's hard work, back down.
-------I'm in love with Adam Sandler.

Yeah, that's a summary of the most important aspects of my life. Some of the pictures below will tell you more than I can.

One of my besties--my little sister.


My parents- and i.


Graduation-Should I miss it?


My Boys.


Motherly sisters. Love.
The Shmend.

Well....

Now that summer is here, I am bored. Not in a bad way, just in a way where i sleep until twelve, and then get stuck in front of the t.v. for six hours before i decide to get up, work out, shower, and then go play with my friends. Work fits in there somewhere, it's just not something fun that i would like to talk about.

I just got back from a vacation...not a vacation...a trip. Vacations are fun...full of exciting things to do. This one wasn't exactly full of anything. The first couple days of staring at nature and playing board games was actually rather entertaining...until I memorized the Sequence board..and started dreaming about phase ten. The little squirrel outside became my only friend, the only one i talked to.

My daily scedule went as follows:

Monday-Thursday--Wake up, eat food, walk outside and then walk directly back in, attempt to stay away from all of the delicious treats, fail, eat some more, play the wii, sleep some more, watch a movie, play games until wee hours of the morning with food by your side the entire time, and then wake up and do it all over again.

That schedule sounds stress free...but after such a long time of nothing to do...clipping toe nails sounded entertaining....but i just happened to forget my clippers. Dang it.

Friday(this had some festive deliciousness)Chase came, and he joined us on the board game playing...it was nice to beat a fresh face. Suddenly Brynn and Matchew appeared...and the drama begun. Brynn, she is loud, she is crazy. She is thoroughly entertaining...But she gets bored easily. She got bored...and decided to taunt her innocent little sisters. I TRIED to ignore her, but I eventuallly gave in and joined in on the trickery. Abby was a hard one to budge...in fact impossible. She got balls chucked at her, toilet paper chucked at her, and paper plates frisbeed towards her head. She handled in well...until she decided to stop handling it. Then loud words of hatred were hollered...doors slammed..but Brynn still laughed. Matt looked frightened. I was drained. It was a good trip.

Summer is good....and a third of the way over. Sad. The End